she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
