Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
