Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
