And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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