Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
