Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
