I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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