White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's the barista slut.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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