its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
