her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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