He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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