i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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