I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
