You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
