made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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