hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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