Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
