y did u give ur computer a hand job?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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