bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
