As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Less talking, more tequila
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
