Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
