She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
