you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
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Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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