Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
