I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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