I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Two words: blizzard sex
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize