Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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