I wish you could order shots online.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
