did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
