I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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