So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
