Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
