between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
