this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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