Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
