I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Someone came in the potted fern
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
