You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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