I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
