Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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