they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
