She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
