My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
