Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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