So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
