He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize