you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
