May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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