porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
