How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You were trust falling into bushes
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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