How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
