i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
