Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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