i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize