i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
