Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
