idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
