Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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