grandma shit on top of the toilet
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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